Hilarious Phrases That Parents Have Said To Their Kids

When it comes to being a parent, some days are seriously better than others. You know those moments growing up when you thought you weren’t going to end up like your parents? That no matter what, you were going to parent your own children way different than you were parented? Well, we were all wrong. Every last one of us has channeled our inner parent a time or two and said something that came out of the vault from your very own childhood. And while some are just wild and totally unbelievable, some are literally just absolutely hilarious phrases that are certain to make you laugh!

Hilarious Phrases that Parents have said to their Kids

You’re Grounded

If you do that one more time, you’re grounded. More than likely, you’ve repeated this a time or two PER DAY to your child, with little to no action to back it up. If I had a dime for every time I told my kid that they’d be grounded, they literally wouldn’t be leaving the house until they were at least 30 years old. True story.

Not A Restaurant

This isn’t a restaurant, you’ll eat what I serve. Why is it that kids think that they should have a menu placed before them to be able to order dinner in their own house? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve created a super delicious dinner to have our kids look at me and request “something” else. And as if that isn’t harsh enough, their super happy with their dinner being replaced by a bowl of rice crispies or a peanut butter sandwich. Now…I’m not saying I’m an awesome cook, but I can cook better than that!

It Will Be Fun

You will have fun on this trip! Ah, good ol’ family vacations…a time where family comes together to explore and have new adventures. But what about when your child decides that they don’t want to explore anymore? You tell them they’ll have fun, right? Absolutely.

Don’t Eat On Off The Floor

Stop eating things off the floor. And again, I can’t help but think that my kids won’t eat my cooking, but they are perfectly fine with dropping a piece of food on the floor in the outside world and just picking it right back up and eating it? Just talking about it makes me squirm.

Santa Is Watching

Be good, Santa is watching. As parents, you know it’s serious when you have to pull out the Santa card. No child wants to take a chance at crossing the path of Santa and losing out on Christmas for the year. And if you want to take it a step further, you can let them know that you have the direct phone number to reach Santa at any point in time during the year to talk about a few things…play this hand delicately, though. They will start to call your bluff at some point!

Miss Nap Time Later

You’ll regret refusing to take naps when you get older because you’ll never get to nap again once you get past a certain age. It’s like negotiation city at times trying to convince your child that it’s time to take a nap. Why do they fight it? It’s obvious from the crying and screaming and rubbing their eyes that they are tired…do they think that they’re going to miss out on something big? Maybe, but more than likely you’ll be taking a nap right along with them!

Privacy Please!

Can I please go to the bathroom in privacy?I don’t think I’ve used the restroom in private for about 9 years now, so I have no shame in the game…but before becoming a parent, I didn’t really think that this was something that I would have to worry about. Boy, was I wrong!

The best part about being a parent is that you have amazing kids to say these wild and wacky things to. The scary part? Is that you’ll continue to say even more absurd things as you grow older as well. Have fun surprising even yourself with the words that will come out of your mouth!